I had dressed to decieve but….

Look here I wiped my tears, I woke up again from hate and despair,

I decided to dress to decieve ,  so that I don’t reveal the pain and greif, 

I showered with the scent of jasmine, I wiped myself with the cream,

I attired myself in the full sleeve dress so the beauty of cuts I made on my wrist and the lines made on my soft skin from that sharp knife don’t get revealed,

I put the mascara to hide those puffed eyes, which are desperate to tell that I cried all night,

I thought of how I am  gonna do my hair, which reminded me of those rough hands which played with my hair ,

I wish I could take a time machine and live that moment again and so I did, I bit my lips again to stop my tears  and I rushed down the stairs to seek my time machine, I opened the cupboard and sat by the sofa with that big album, my time machine,

I saw you smiling at the very first page and for the zillionth time my heart broke in grief,

you captured my heart which was a fire and kind of art but you droped it so hard that my whole world was burnt,

I remembered I was covering myself with a coat of “Im okay” and I headed to the dressing table, 

I stared at the mirror, like you my eyes also fascinate me somedays, when I look deep into them I see my whole world and amazingly all I see is you, 

I caked on the makeup and rushed towards the kitchen and I poured the wine in the glass and I felt  like I had lost my last breath with the just a glass, 

it looked like the sky was in pain too,  when I saw the black clouds covering the sun’s face,

the forecast was wrong and the strom of grief  was about to come, I wish I had doubted not the forecast but also you and promises you made randomly out of the blue,

I stepped out of the house and same as all the days I wore a fake smile on my face and it begun to rain and I was cleansed from bottom to the top and to the greatest depths of my heart, and corpse in my body then got burnt, 

my emotions went numb and I was scattered into infinite pieces like never before, my broken pieces got revealed, the heart so stabbed was freezed as hard as steel, 

I wish that we would have never met, I wish the destiny should have not knit this story of threat I got the love I always wished for, I wish I had wished for it to last, 

but then I smiled in pain , I was happy not because I was betrayed because before the betrayal I  was loved, I loved the most beautiful lie, the most attractive illusion the destiny had presented infront of me,

I loved from all my heart, I gave it all I had and   I loved like the fire in stars no matter how beautiful it looks you’ll never be worthy of touching it, I felt like the storm trapped in  a rain drop and so I cried out my heart, 

from head to toe  I felt so healed,silence was my loudest scream,   I felt its okay to cry sometimes, doesn’t the sky do the same and we call it rain,

You see I had dressed to decieve the world so well,  but the rain revealed me and this is me for forever, beautiful and healed .…